i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
