I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
