Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
