he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
