apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
