this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
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Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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