just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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