chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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