Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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