if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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