I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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