i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Randomize
