Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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