3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
