Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
