I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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