She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
