Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
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You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
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Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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