Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
