Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
