i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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