we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We left an ass print on the piano.
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Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
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We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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