super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
