So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize