Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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