So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
