You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
