you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
