so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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