you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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