I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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