i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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