The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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