they need to just BURY HIM!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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