somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
