I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
