going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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