Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
