apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
