did you get engaged???
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
