I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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