i just google imaged poop.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
