i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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