I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
