It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
