The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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