Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
