her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
