Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
