gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize