I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
someone threw a dead crab at me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
