Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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