Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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