I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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