I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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