so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
