I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
