you have to choose: penises or morals?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
