Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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