So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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