Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
