I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
