Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
